January 1, 1998
Thursday, 10:35 pm

It is not often that I completely separate parts of a Journal session, as I have done here. Usually, the topics are related in some way.     In this case, however, there seemed a clear break between the previous topic – which had to do with changes I was exploring for the new year – and the tornado questions. However, toward the end, you can see how the two really were related.     In this session, you can see that the internal dialog includes expressions of feelings and images received, not just words.

I felt the need to draw a line here, to end the first section of this session formally and turn to another.

I had another tornado dream last night. In this one – which I barely remembered upon waking – I saw a dark section of the sky, as you can see heavy rain falling amid lighter rain. It formed a dark band against the horizon.

Two funnels emerged from this dark area of heavy rain and moved left to right in front of me. One or more funnels then appeared and moved to my left.

That is all I remember. It seemed very real, of course, as if I was awake.

From previous sessions, I have seen that these dreams are not a “series,” and that the tornados are “entities” – symbols living in my dream world.

Yet, I am still left with a sense of discomfort. What are they? What does it mean when tornados appear in my dreams? They come so often. It’s like having a relative who keeps dropping in, but who I do not know at all.

• That is a good analogy!

You are not being very helpful. I’m sure you are aware of my feelings in the issue. Why can you not give me a straightforward answer? What do these tornados mean? What does it mean when they appear in my dreams?

• The tornados are the energy churning within you. You have very powerful internal sources of energy/power, which have found little or no vent for expression.
• For reasons you have already expressed clearly, these energies have been “capped off” and must, therefore, be expressed internally.
• Whether they are threatening or supportive is irrelevant, in a sense. These aspects of their expression simply reflect your needs of the moment – in that time.
• At the present, strong currents of energy are “awakened” within you, but have no outward means of expression. The energy “spins up” into tornadic form. Again, they could be expressed in other forms, but some structure of your spirit “describes” them as tornados: power, fluidity, motion.

(10:55)

It is like I have so much energy I want to go running and screaming.

• Exactly. But finding no outward expressibility, the energy remains internal.
• A great force misplaced. Not directed, it dissipates.

(I suddenly envisioned Pecos Bill riding the whirlwind. Isn’t that how he disappeared forever??)

O.K. Now, at last, I have a better grasp of the source of the tornados. I sense that it has taken me so long to reach this point because I have been afraid to really pursue an answer. Is there a way that I can begin to use these dreams positively?

• Indeed, there is. Recognizing their nature is the first step. However, tapping, channeling and releasing that energy positively and productively is the real challenge.
• It can be done!

I sense that I am “tightly capped.” I feel things deeply, but do not – or cannot – express them fully. I would feel foolish, silly. And I have created confusion in others when I have let go, as it challenges other’s perceptions of me.

• This is true, and untrue. You remember these incidents because they support your basic ego-self-concept. You “cannot change because of the effects on others.” They will think you stupid, flighty or worse, perhaps. Yet, you also can be seen as more emotionally accessible, more in touch with your inner self.
• Both of these interpretations are true. Yet, you tend to remember events that support the former – which dissuades you from experimenting with the latter.
• Do you see?

But I am uncomfortable and do feel foolish when I behave emotionally or act without thinking things through.

• This is not to say give up your reason. It is to say to use reason judiciously, and not let it dominate your existence.
• Balance is the key, of course

I don’t know if I really understand all of this, but I do now have something to think about. I don’t want to be perfect, but I also don’t want people to make fun of my shortcomings and/or inadequacies. So, I suppose, I do keep a lid on myself in this regard .... And it also keeps me from fully exploring alternate life situations in some respects.

(11:20)

This has been a productive session. There is so much to think about here. Thank you!

• You are always welcome.