From
Head To Heart
It is probable
that most, if not all, searchers of themselves attend various workshops
and seek experiences that can lead to and deepen their sense of self-awareness
and self-actualization.
The majority of these
experiences would be lost “like tears in rain” without some disciplined
and organized memory tool. It is simply true that we are not necessarily
“ready” to absorb and incorporate much of our experiences at such times.
Fortunately, many group and seminar leaders have built in time for self-reflection
and “journaling,” acknowledging this fact.
Writing in one’s Journal
during intense growth experiences can be frustrating and very uncomfortable.
I learned
a significant lesson in this regard.
At
one time, I attended a series of weekend group sessions, which focused
upon interpersonal communication skills. During one weekend, I was simply
“not there.” I found myself severely distracted and unable to connect
either with other participants or with myself. That entire weekend was
a confusing disaster.
However, I forced myself
to write in my Journal at every opportunity ... no matter how frustrating
or difficult it was to do so. Still, at the end of the weekend, I
considered the experience perfectly worthless.
Months later, I finished
the Journal. Before storing it away, I browsed through its pages as I
usually do before beginning a new book. Naturally, I found the pages from
that weekend and read through them.
There it was: a small
note in the margin. One of the women I considered most attractive in the
group also was attracted to me. In that setting, her interest had resurfaced
many of my most threatening teenage fears. Trapped between acceptance
and rejection trauma in the impossible situation of the group, I had
simply erected a barrier against all communication for safety.
A single note in the margin,
apparently a random note flushed from the anguished struggle to write
down my feelings and experiences, had slipped through a small, unguarded
crack in the wall. It was the leverage that helped me to make some sense
of and learn from the experience.
It often takes time
for learning to move from the realm of mental awareness to realization,
from the head to the heart. Reviewing your Journal can help to bring
these hidden and forgotten experiences to life.
But,
from where had this observation come?
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