Ego-Identity: A Double-Edged Sword

Remember that Ego-identity is "a fully-functioning, fully-aware and fully-creative aspect of the whole of you. It is clearly intelligent and resourceful, curious and robust." Not only that, but Ego-identity also has a substantial creative aspect that is vital to its ability to interact with the world. It lives not only in the realm of "the real world" - the consensual world of the everyday - but also in the inner world of imagination, dreams, self-reflection and so on. And it is very effective in both realms.

Because of this facility, an integrated, well-functioning Ego-identity is crucial to living effectively in the world. It is our interface with the real world, and as such Ego-identity is, in fact, the only way that we can interact with the "real" world at all. Without it, we are unable to maintain our existence: we cannot communicate, plan or act purposefully, or fulfill the myriad voluntary functions required for living.

Without it, we are dead! Yet, there are some drawbacks. Ego-identity can also be seen to have a "dark side," as well, which interestingly is derived directly from its critical function of preservation and protection.

A primary function of Ego-identity is self-defense - protecting its own existence - as well as protecting the body. In this role, it naturally resists change, which is, by definition, threatening to the reliable status quo Ego-identity often strives to maintain as a way of fulfilling this protective mandate.

Interestingly, an unaware Ego-identity can also be tricked by its own cunning when it attempts to stretch beyond its own comfortable boundaries. Since Ego-identity is the way you interact with the world, "You" (and we have yet to deal with what this "You" is, don't we?) must work through Ego-identity to meet your own needs for personal growth, do you not? Yet, even while willingly engaged in this pursuit, its self-preservation function operates.

Ego-Identity Is The First Voice
Sometimes, especially early in developing your dialoging skills, you will encounter Ego-identity directly as one of the many "voices" you might meet. It will be as though Ego-identity as the questioner simply answers its own questions, sometimes while identifying that the source of the information is something else. In time, you will learn to feel it when this happens, and the "accuracy checking" exercise will help you develop this ability.

Ego-identity can also look at itself in a mirror and see something completely different -- or what is more likely, it will sometimes receive an answer to a question it has posed on your behalf, and ignore or inaccurately interpret the response because it perceives a threat!

Think about an unsettling dream you might have had. Imagine that, in attempting to work with it in your journal, Ego-identity actively seeks an answer to the question "what was that dream about?" but then shies away from the answer. Perhaps you just "go blank" or what you receive makes no sense. Ego-identity was too worried about what it "really" might mean to deal with it. This issue is dealt with directly as an example of journal work later in this workbook as the "Tornado Dreams" series.

What is especially interesting about Ego-identity is its creativeness and ingenuity in developing new ways to fool itself. Ego-identity has the same characteristics as the "Trickster" archetype - the coyote, the shapeshifter. When it perceives a challenge, it can easily switch to another approach … always working to maintain its "rightful place" at the center of your psychological structure.

Working with Ego-identity and identifying its many disguises can be one of the most rewarding, challenging, frustrating and sometimes amusing aspects of developing internal dialog.

It is important not to set out to frustrate and destroy the Ego-identity. Without this important structure of self-defense and preservation, you may become vulnerable to the intentions and manipulations of others, as well as confused in your dealings with everyday life. It is better to be able to identify Ego-identity and work with or around it.

Disguised Voices
Remember that in the beginning, Ego-identity is more or less stuck with a fairly rigid view of the world and its place in it as a function of its key role of self-preservation, both of "you" and itself as your functional interpreter in life. Because of its nature and its role, it will often - especially in the beginning - present you with an array of apparent "sources" of information that are more or less inaccurate or confusing.

Much of early inner dialog work, then, is getting to know each of these disguises as well as possible, and in the process to forge a working arrangement with Ego-identity to help you on your journey, rather than to try to thwart it. In a very real sense, this is the entire purpose of the inner dialog process.

How do you do this?

You simply ask. Ego-identity is not your enemy! At its best, it is a companion, a compatriot and a trusted ally. Make friends with your Ego-identity and you will be able to draw an extraordinary value from the relationship, far greater than you can now imagine.

Here are some guidelines that might be helpful in identifying the darker aspects of Ego-identity as you encounter it in your journal work:

• Ego-identity fears loss of identity and works actively to maintain it at all costs.
• Ego-identity may present itself to you as a "very wise, famous, or other exalted" response source. (If you believe your answers are coming from saints, heros or other historical figures, suspect Ego-identity.)
• Ego-identity tends to be controlling and dictating.
• Ego-identity pontificates.